The Perplexed Parental
One of my favourite quotes regarding the joy of parenting came from my endlessly patient and hugely admired cousin; "Our parents really should've told us the truth."
We delight in deep discussions on this topic, on our annual beach holiday, usually deep in the Sav Blanc...after a 5am start "HIMUMMYDIDYAHAVEAGOODSLEEPI'MHUNGRY", Weetbix on demand, pancakes from scratch to follow, then cheese on toast, plus an entire heiffer-load of milk to wash it all down.
Regret Sav Blanc...blerghhh.
8 years down the track and I'm looking forward to the third round of school holidays for the year.
Yay.
Last holidays I took a week of leave from work to accommodate the school break. I had plans for my Little Loves; plans that revolved around days reminiscent of wheeling my flash double-pram around Centennial Park, skinny-latte in hand, fresh glowy skin (for I was "on mat leave" and "not working" and all I had to do was change 4 bazillion nappies a day because that's what happens when you believe breastfeeding prevents pregnancy and you surprisingly have two babes 17 months apart and never, ever sleep).
I had to have a glass of wine at 4.00pm that first day of last holidays. Holy Moly. The sweetly curled cherubs that used to hold hands, peacefully nucking away at their respective blue and pink dummies while I latte'ed and pushed glamour-pram around the posh park had become Itchy and Scratchy on steroids!!!
Number 1 currently delights in swearing as much as possible when I'm around, just to see what happens.
"Do you talk like this at Dad's house?"
"Nah."
"Why do you talk like that with me then?"
"Cause I don't get in as much trouble here."
Bless the Captain, for he cannot tell a lie. Gah!
The Ginger Ninja bleats on demand, usually in peak hour traffic.
Ninja: "Waaaahhh!!!!"
Me: "What happened???"
Ninja: "He squeezed my cheeks like a bum!"
Me: "What???"
Captain: "But she's so cute!"
Ninja: "He started it!"
Captain: "No, she started it!!"
Ninja: "He did it first!"
Captain: "Well she said I was boring."
Oh dear God, please be boring, just for an hour, that would be ok, really!!!
I recently read an article about parents who can't say no.
Here it is for your judgement. http://www.kidspot.com.au/why-modern-parents-are-crap-parents/
I sincerely agree with the concept of building resilience and allowing the growth of independence in our kids. But I just can't figure out how to do it without a small tribe of Harry Potter house-elves! Snap! Bi-ing!
Forgive the parent who needs half an hour to get their shizz (and everyone else's) together...
I hand over the iPad and feel horribly guilty. I know we should all be reading Enid Blyton's Famous Five novels together and hugging over shared boiled eggs with Julian, Dick and Anne, buttered toast and all things wholesome, like George and Timmy the Dog.
Modern days in sophisticato-Sydney I confess it's more "Getcha school readers out, unpack your lunchboxes, we're having left-over spag bol tonight, quick get undressed so I can wash your uniforms for tomorrow, superfast shower tonight, I have LOTS of work to do (read...I want to watch The Bachelor at 7.30pm like a normal person and you need to be asleep so I don't have to explain why he has 16 girlfriends), who wants Vegemite on their sanga for school tomorrow? Don't squeeze the cat like that, yes, I know you love him, but he doesn't like it, he DOESN'T like it, who left their socks there? Ewww, pick them up I'm not your slave, whose library day is it tomorrow, what day is it today???"
Rinse and repeat. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday...
Saturday....Erhmahhgahhhd! Weekend activities!!! That's a WHOLE other story.
We delight in deep discussions on this topic, on our annual beach holiday, usually deep in the Sav Blanc...after a 5am start "HIMUMMYDIDYAHAVEAGOODSLEEPI'MHUNGRY", Weetbix on demand, pancakes from scratch to follow, then cheese on toast, plus an entire heiffer-load of milk to wash it all down.
Regret Sav Blanc...blerghhh.
8 years down the track and I'm looking forward to the third round of school holidays for the year.
Yay.
Last holidays I took a week of leave from work to accommodate the school break. I had plans for my Little Loves; plans that revolved around days reminiscent of wheeling my flash double-pram around Centennial Park, skinny-latte in hand, fresh glowy skin (for I was "on mat leave" and "not working" and all I had to do was change 4 bazillion nappies a day because that's what happens when you believe breastfeeding prevents pregnancy and you surprisingly have two babes 17 months apart and never, ever sleep).
I had to have a glass of wine at 4.00pm that first day of last holidays. Holy Moly. The sweetly curled cherubs that used to hold hands, peacefully nucking away at their respective blue and pink dummies while I latte'ed and pushed glamour-pram around the posh park had become Itchy and Scratchy on steroids!!!
Number 1 currently delights in swearing as much as possible when I'm around, just to see what happens.
"Do you talk like this at Dad's house?"
"Nah."
"Why do you talk like that with me then?"
"Cause I don't get in as much trouble here."
Bless the Captain, for he cannot tell a lie. Gah!
The Ginger Ninja bleats on demand, usually in peak hour traffic.
Ninja: "Waaaahhh!!!!"
Me: "What happened???"
Ninja: "He squeezed my cheeks like a bum!"
Me: "What???"
Captain: "But she's so cute!"
Ninja: "He started it!"
Captain: "No, she started it!!"
Ninja: "He did it first!"
Captain: "Well she said I was boring."
Oh dear God, please be boring, just for an hour, that would be ok, really!!!
I recently read an article about parents who can't say no.
Here it is for your judgement. http://www.kidspot.com.au/why-modern-parents-are-crap-parents/
I sincerely agree with the concept of building resilience and allowing the growth of independence in our kids. But I just can't figure out how to do it without a small tribe of Harry Potter house-elves! Snap! Bi-ing!
Forgive the parent who needs half an hour to get their shizz (and everyone else's) together...
I hand over the iPad and feel horribly guilty. I know we should all be reading Enid Blyton's Famous Five novels together and hugging over shared boiled eggs with Julian, Dick and Anne, buttered toast and all things wholesome, like George and Timmy the Dog.
Oh gosh, Anne, that sounds awfully good!
Just for the record, one school holiday, Mum took me to Goulburn City Library and got me a borrowing card. I chose this one!!! And have never forgotten it.
Modern days in sophisticato-Sydney I confess it's more "Getcha school readers out, unpack your lunchboxes, we're having left-over spag bol tonight, quick get undressed so I can wash your uniforms for tomorrow, superfast shower tonight, I have LOTS of work to do (read...I want to watch The Bachelor at 7.30pm like a normal person and you need to be asleep so I don't have to explain why he has 16 girlfriends), who wants Vegemite on their sanga for school tomorrow? Don't squeeze the cat like that, yes, I know you love him, but he doesn't like it, he DOESN'T like it, who left their socks there? Ewww, pick them up I'm not your slave, whose library day is it tomorrow, what day is it today???"
Rinse and repeat. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday...
Saturday....Erhmahhgahhhd! Weekend activities!!! That's a WHOLE other story.
And I wouldn't change it for the WORLD.
Here's Madge's "Holiday" from 1983, when I was 8 years old and putting my own parents through the same delights....(when I wasn't reading Famous Fives!)
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